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How to write a great review…

…and get to dress as a medieval milk maid as well! As Carmela and I are planning to escape Suffolk Hotel life and pass through Bruges this summer, I decided to check out a restaurant that had been recommended to me a while ago. After scouring their recent TripAdvisor reviews, I stumbled on a sublime example of how to write a great review:

“…A quick trawl of the internet revealed a list of top restaurants in Bruges and phone calls were made. The first two declined our custom, I obviously didn’t sound “quite the thing” we checked later on and they had free tables so how did they know that I like to walk out on an evening dressed as a medieval milk maid, replete with black teeth and eye patch?

Anyway Malesherbes had a table, was conveniently around the corner and they had a table, plus chairs, negating the need for my milking stool, so we set out arm in arm, my wife in search of food, I in search of marital reconciliation and the possibility of a cow to milk.

The restaurant was full, and several were turned away during our meal. Our starters of home made leek quiche were superb, particularly the pastry, and negated the need to negotiate soup which has all gone wrong on previous occasions as both my wife and I struggle with spoons.

Duck, sausage and beans to follow for me, which promised a repeat factor of five in the following hours but hardly raised the duvet during the night. My wife opted for the beef which was a concern as red meat often makes her aggressive, however this was so beautifully cooked that we left the restaurant in raptures.

The food is fantastic, the wine wonderful and the service sublime.

Mission accomplished, we departed arm in arm with the day’s misdemeanours a distant memory, no cows required milking, so we visited the restaurants that had declined our custom and belched post prandial contentedness at their empty tables”.

by Roland Blunk and Anon, photo by Anon

Roland Blunk(http://www.rolandblunk.com)
Throughout my career, I have been privileged in being commissioned by so many influential clients. Having discovered photography and graphic design before the digital revolution, the possibilities for visual expression seem almost magical to me, as we live our lives together with daily miracles and wonderment. My design and photography skills were learnt in their original pre-digital form. Slow, sometimes laborious, but wonderfully rewarding. Consequently I am forever in awe of the kit I have at my disposal. My main camera is a Nikon D4, which I use with either AF-S 14-24mm 2.8; AF-S 24-70mm 2.8 or AF-S 70-200mm 2.8 Nikon lens. I process my work on a MacBook Pro, so I can shoot, download, evaluate and post-produce my work, before posting it from anywhere and to anywhere within minutes of shooting. I have travelled through time from being Roland Blunk, a 60's London art student, using my parents' attic as a first 'dark room', to using the world as my studio and that really is a miracle to me. I studied design and photography in the late sixties, at what was then Hornsey College of Art, London. Life, after a series of drab boarding schools, was exciting to say the least. Jimmy Hendrix played upstairs at the Manor House pub, James Brown at Cook's Ferry Inn and Charlie Mingus at Ronnie Scott's, to name a few local distractions. I followed this by studying graphics at the LCP and the huge irony surrounding my design studies, concerned my exclusion from applying for the 'Graphic Design' degree course'. As I left school at the age of sixteen to study at 'Hornsey', I skipped my A's and so studied on the LCP's diploma course. A couple of years after leaving the LCP, I was thrilled when Tom Eckersley head of graphics at the LCP, and one of the foremost poster designers and graphic communicators of the last century (Google him), answered my application to lecture, with the news that he loved my letterhead design. Consequently I was offered a visiting lectureship, on the same degree course that I was not welcome to study on! Now let's keep that one quiet. My clients have included: Action Aid Arista Records The Arts Council The BBC The British Council The British Tourist Authority The Crafts Council The Design Council Eversheds Solicitors The Guardian Haymarket Publications Her Majesty's Stationery Office Hoeseasons Holidays The Institute of Chartered Accountants The Institute of Contemporary Arts Island Records The Longman Publishing Company The Manchester City Art Galleries The National Portrait Gallery The Opera Babes The Royal Shakespeare Company The Scottish Development Agency 'Sotogrande' Spain The V&A Museum I have lectured at major art schools in Great Britain including 'Central Saint Martins' London, and my work has been reproduced in the Swiss graphic publication 'Graphis' Annual, The 'Designers & Art Directors' Annual and 'Modern Publicity' Annual. I was nominated to 'Fellowship' status of the 'Chartered Society of Designers' in the mid 80's. In 2002 I qualified as a 'Snowsport England' ski coach (level 4) coaching instructors at the 'Norfolk Snowsports Club'. Each season I worked in both Austria and Italy as a freelance Alpine ski guide, with an 'Internationaler Verband of Snowsport Instructors' (IVSI) licence.